It is easy to conclude that multiple orgasms are a phenomenon only for lucky women and sexual Olympians, but one unavailable for ordinary citizens like you or I. It is also widely believed that men are barred from enjoying the increased intense pleasure of multiple orgasms. These conclusions are different than the reality. Experiencing more than one orgasm in a single sexual session is possible, with routine and consistent practice of simple exercises over several months. Both men and women are equally gifted with the capacity to expand their pleasure beyond a single climax.
Sound like an exaggerated claim? It is not. Our nervous system is like the electrical grid which powers our homes, but instead of electricity, excited sexual energy flows within the “wiring” of our bodies to produce sexual pleasure. It takes a lot of energy to create heat, as evidenced by your electric or oil bill during the winter. When a person is sexually attractive to us, he or she is said to be “hot.” When we get physically aroused, we feel heat in our bodies, usually near our genitals. This heat is the byproduct of a lot of energy, which can be used more efficiently to create greater pleasure than most allow themselves.
Experiencing more than one orgasm depends upon how we circulate this heat, or sexual energy, not just in and around our sex parts, but throughout our entire body’s nervous system. To do this well requires that we eliminate the obstacles that interfere with the energy’s transmission. Negative emotions, shame, discomfort with one’s body or negative feelings about sex all block the flow of sexual energy, which is vital to increased pleasure and the possibility of multiple orgasms. The more deeply relaxed we are the greater the pleasure to which we have access. Having a full awareness of our sexual response adds to our comfort and the depth of relaxation. Deliberate and consistent practice places such benefits within reach.
Men have equal capacity for multiple orgasms, but, unlike women, they must first master the task of separating orgasm from ejaculation, an achievement that few men know is possible. Sending shivers down the spines of most men are those embarrassing moments when failure to control the timing of their ejaculation saddles them with feelings of masculine failure and inadequacy. Ejaculatory control problems are the most common sexual dysfunction. Training to achieve multiple orgasms begins with practices which build the kind of control about which most men only dream.
Why would a person wish to develop this capacity? Increased pleasure alone, might not justify the effort, but beyond the pleasure are other significant benefits. By circulating the highly nourishing sexual energy throughout the body, all organs are nourished, greatly adding to physical health. For men, this results in a sexual experience which is less depleting, and instead is energizing, but also increases their ejaculatory control. The greatest benefit, however, is when both partners have developed the ability to have multiple orgasms, and enjoy a dramatically deeper connection, both during love-making and well beyond. Andrew Aaron, LICSW, AASECT is a love relationship and sex therapist who practices in the New Bedford Seaport.